Everything, Nothing, and a Little Bit of Something

How are you?

 Now that I’ve written a bit about all the main topics constantly spinning around in my brain like a broken record, it’s starting to look like a puzzle coming together. To be honest, I feel a bit… empty. Like I’m doing everything and finishing nothing. Yep. That’s exactly it. And no, I'm not writing this to get sympathy from anyone. I just want to share it. To put it out there.

I know how to be a workaholic. Trust me, I live in that 80% zone. The other 20%? That’s reserved for complete, unapologetic laziness. And guess what, I’ve finally learned, the hard way of course, that when your body and mind are screaming for rest, you have to listen. You either rest or you break. No in-between. So this post… it’s about everything and nothing. Or maybe it is something. We’ll see.

People are often surprised or disappointed by how others behave. But you know what? I’ve stopped expecting anything from anyone. At all. Somewhere along the way, people became so hollow, so detached from any sense of conscience, it’s like their souls have been rinsed clean of empathy. And when you expect nothing, you can’t be disappointed. That, too, was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Life hasn’t exactly been soft these past few years.

You know what else gets under my skin? When people keep complaining about the same problem over and over again, while doing absolutely nothing to change it. Yes, I know how that sounds, harsh, even arrogant, but someone had to say it. Look, I totally get the need to talk. We all need to let it out. That’s human. I do it too. But if you’ve talked about the same issue a hundred times, and I’ve tried to help a hundred times, at some point I just run out of energy. The truth is, change doesn’t happen magically. It starts with you. If you’re in a messy, painful, chaotic situation, speak. Be honest. Open up. Ask for support. But please, don’t sit in that same stuck place forever. Move. Even just a little.

There’s another important thing I’ve noticed. People often blur the line between current problems and past trauma. It’s something we all do. But it matters to know the difference. If something traumatic happened in your past, it’s completely normal that it still affects you today. Those kinds of wounds don’t disappear. They follow you. Whether you want them to or not. They shape how you react, how you trust, how you cope.

And since we’re on the topic of people, let me say this too. I can handle rejection. Truly, I can. But the loss of a close friend? That cuts deeper. When someone who once felt like home becomes just a memory, that pain lingers. No matter how much time passes, it stays with you in quiet, stubborn ways.

“Losing a friend hurts differently. It’s like misplacing a part of your soul you never thought you’d have to live without.”

Lately I’ve also noticed how much noise exists in everything. Everyone’s talking, sharing, oversharing. There’s content everywhere, advice everywhere, opinions thrown around like candy. And honestly, I’m tired. I don’t want to consume more noise, I want silence that actually means something. I want conversations that go deeper than "how are you" and don't end at "I'm fine."

Also, can we talk about how hard it is to be present? Like truly present. Not half-scrolling while pretending to listen, not zoning out while your mind runs through a to-do list. I miss being fully in a moment. Whether it's cooking, laughing, reading, crying… I miss the simplicity of just being. Lately, everything feels like it's on fast-forward and I can’t find the remote.

And another thing, why do we act like emotional burnout isn’t real? We talk about physical exhaustion like it’s valid (and it is), but when your heart and mind are drained, you’re expected to just push through. Smile. Be polite. Show up. Be functional. But sometimes I feel like I’m running on emotional fumes and no one really notices unless I completely fall apart.

And you know what I’ve realized? You can be surrounded by people and still feel deeply alone. You can laugh and still feel empty. You can do everything “right” and still wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life. So yeah, if you’re feeling lost, you’re not broken. You’re just human. And maybe that’s all we really need to remember right now.

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve probably noticed how my thoughts wander from one place to another. And that’s kind of the point. I want to show you that it’s okay to feel messy, to be all over the place, to not have everything neatly figured out. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, lost, hurt, numb, hopeful, exhausted, sometimes all at once. You’re allowed to pause. To fall apart. To rest. And eventually, to begin again.

Whatever you're going through, you’re not alone. And no, you don’t need to have a clear ending to start writing your next chapter.

Nena

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls you.”