The Weight Behind the Smile

  The Quiet Battle No One Sees

Balancing high productivity with deep inner emptiness is not easy. In fact, it is one of the most invisible struggles someone can face.

People often say, "Try something new," as if novelty is the cure for heaviness. And maybe for some, it is. But the truth is much more complicated. Sometimes you try something new and it doesn’t help at all, not right away. Sometimes nothing helps. And when that happens, you begin to wonder if anything ever truly will.

For me, I’ve slowly been trying to reconnect with myself. Who I am, what I love, what brings me peace. I’ve started that journey, but I haven’t stopped being a workaholic. That part of me is still very present. I keep going, I keep pushing, I keep producing. On the outside, it might look like everything is functioning well, but on the inside, I still feel lost sometimes, still hollow, still searching for something.

And that’s the thing about high functioning people, most of the time, no one notices they’re hurting. The world praises productivity. We get applause for being efficient, for performing under pressure, for being put together. But no one claps for silent battles. No one sees the part of you that’s quietly crumbling while meeting every deadline and returning every message.

I’ve realized that healing doesn’t look the same for everyone. What helps me might not help you, and that’s okay. Every person is different. Every wound is different. For some, healing comes from movement, adrenaline, challenge. For others, it comes from stillness, silence, softness. We all need different medicine.

Personally, I’ve found comfort in simple acts of creating. Crafting, cooking, building something with my hands. There is something incredibly healing in the process of creating, even if it’s small. Whether it’s baking a cake, sewing something, painting, or writing, the act of making something from nothing reminds me that life can still be beautiful, even in the dark.

I once heard someone say, "People fall into depression because they stop creating and only consume." That stayed with me. When we stop creating, we disconnect from something deeply human, the ability to shape, to give, to express. Creation isn’t just about art. It’s about reclaiming space in a world that constantly asks us to be passive, to scroll, to numb.

Of course, not everything I create brings me peace. Sometimes cooking frustrates me. Sometimes crafting makes me feel worse. Sometimes I walk away from it more annoyed than when I started. And when that happens, I try something else. I go for long walks. I let the silence stretch out inside me. I don’t force my mind to solve anything. I just breathe. I give myself permission to not fix, to not fight, to just exist.

That’s something I’m still learning, that it’s okay to stop. It’s okay to not be productive. That rest is not laziness. That silence is not failure. Sometimes my most healing moments happen when I’m doing absolutely nothing. When I let my mind stop being a battlefield and let it be a quiet field for once, just for a moment.

I’ve also started writing again. I’ve always loved it, but something shifted when I began sharing my words. When people tell me they connect with what I write, that it made them feel seen or understood, it gives me a sense of purpose I can’t explain. It makes me want to keep going. It makes the hard days feel a little less pointless.

I’m not here to give advice or pretend I’ve figured everything out. I haven’t. I still struggle. I still have days where I feel numb, overwhelmed, or like I’m just going through the motions. But I’ve learned that even in those moments, I can still choose not to disappear. I can still choose to keep showing up, even in the smallest of ways.

You can be strong and still need help. You can be productive and still feel empty. You can seem fine and still be falling apart inside. And none of that makes you weak.

If you're carrying your own silent battle while still getting things done, please know, that’s not something everyone can do. It takes courage to keep going when your heart feels heavy. It takes strength to fight a battle no one sees.

So if you’re moving slowly, that’s okay. If you’re tired, rest. If you're overwhelmed, step back. And if today, all you did was survive, I’m proud of you.

Keep searching for what makes you feel alive. Even if it’s small. Even if it’s quiet. Even if it looks nothing like what works for others. Keep creating, keep walking, keep writing, keep feeling. Or simply, keep breathing. Whatever you do, don’t give up on yourself.

Because even if it doesn't feel like it right now, you’re not broken. You’re healing. And that’s a process that deserves patience, not pressure.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be real.

And you already are.

I know this journey is not linear. Some days you’ll feel strong and other days you’ll feel like you’re breaking apart all over again. But every day you keep going is something worth honoring. Every quiet decision to not give up matters, even if no one sees it.

So if no one has told you lately, I will. I see you. I’m clapping for you, not because everything is perfect, but because I know how hard it is to carry yourself through the world when your heart feels heavy. I know what it’s like to smile when you’re hurting and to keep going when all you want to do is stop.

You are not alone. Even when it feels like no one notices, even when the silence is deafening, you are never as invisible as you think. Your story matters. Your healing matters. And you don’t have to do this all on your own.

If you're looking for support, there are people and organizations who care. Truly care. Here are a few worldwide mental health resources you can reach out to, no matter where you are:

• Mental Health America — mhanational.org

• Befrienders Worldwide — befrienders.org

• International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) — iasp.info

• Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741 (US, UK, Canada, Ireland) or visit crisistextline.org

• Lifeline (Australia) — 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

• Samaritans (UK) — Call 116 123 or visit samaritans.org

Please don’t hesitate to reach out :) You don’t have to be at rock bottom to ask for help. You just have to be human.

You are worthy of care. You are allowed to take up space. You are not a burden. And even when the world feels too loud or too dark, there is still light, and there are still people who care.

Don’t forget to smile!

Nena